i want legs that bow out like parenthesis but never touch; ribs that stick out, stark, like a shipwreck; collarbones i can hide behind; double digits on the scale.
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ive had 300 calories today and i wont have any more. im going to burn this all off and more. im going to keep up restricting and exercising and purging, but i wont weigh myself for a while. i feel ... excited that im jumping back into this with such fervor, i suppose. it's been binge/purge or just binge for the last few weeks. now im starving until i feel the symptoms, until i shrink.
i missed this. its sad and pathetic and it ruins lives but i missed being in the thick of it, in the fray, in the chrysalis. its sick but its safe and its, really, all i want right now.
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